Month: March 2020

Virus Diaries: The Toilet

During these global virus days, we are captives within our abodes. I have never asked myself, “Given the plague, where would I prefer to hole up?” We have already answered this question. We are holed up where we are holed up.⠀⠀

I am fortunate, protecting myself in the 1,600 square foot home that I share with my wife. Now that my field of vision is suddenly reduced, all around me in this household are curiosities that, in a larger world, might go unnoticed.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Take our toilet—no, don’t take our toilet! Were our world larger, proportioned as it used to be, I would need to anticipate my toileting needs away from the house. At Lowes Hardware—ah, yes, down the corridor at the back, on the left. Three urinals and four stalls await me. Our grocery store has one modest toileting compartment per gender, semi-hidden near the back, as if preserving it for employees only, nonetheless it is adequate enough for the task, or tasks, at hand.⠀⠀

My homebound toileting needs are now conveniently served just down the hallway; I have no need for an outside substitute in this giant virus-infested world. I enter the chamber, and the 12-volt motion-activated light invites me to safely stand or sit, as my needs may require. Regardless, I am welcomed by a non-judgmental porcelain creation of exquisite industrial design, hanging, as if perched, mounted directly on the toilet wall, defying gravity, for no part of this appliance touches the polished tile floor beneath. It’s a thing of cleanable genius, a World’s Fair-worthy sculpted beauty that I admire several times each day. Enlarged to gigantic proportions, it would make a wondrous waterslide.

Its other toileting convenience places it above a modest “Ford-level” appliance: the dual-sized wall-mounted push buttons release either minor or high-volume torrents depending upon the demand. But make no mistake, my ceramic friend is no competition for a “Bugatti-level” bidet-enhanced instrument whose performance flushes away all contenders.

Appendix Street

No street lights illuminate my little street. The seventeen houses were built among orange groves before streetlights were commonplace. The oldest homes on this dead-end little lane date from the 1920’s. At night it is pitch black, a charm contrasting the white-light of the surrounding streets.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Like an appendix whose bodily service seems useless, this seeming inconsequential one-block long neighborhood means little to the town’s population. But here, intimacy is rewarded. Its members know of the life, and the death, of their neighbors.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

In the past few years, this small road has lost seven of its friends and neighbors. This seems a high death ratio, but perhaps because of its tiny population, the residents actually know all their neighbors. On Appendix Street, there is no second block.⠀

The residents all know each of these seven departed ones: the car mechanic with the failing heart, his school counselor wife with lifelong lung disease brought on by smoking parents, their policeman son with years-long debilitating pain due to an on-duty injury, Disneyland’s lighting and illumination engineer, the middle-aged son succumbing after surgery, the college professor whose heart gave out at his dinner table, the life-long teacher whose final stroke felled her. The homes of these last two neighbors faced directly across the street from each other; their obituaries appeared in last week’s local newspaper, directly across the page from each other.⠀⠀⠀⠀

The mulberry tree holding the neighborhood rope swing once stood in our front yard. The tree has died, and now nothing will grow in the soil in its place. A friend, a landscaper, informed me that a new tree cannot be planted exactly where a former tree has died. The decaying roots of the old tree still produce enough heat that a new tree cannot live in that same place.⠀⠀⠀⠀

We are all some kind of standard-bearer. The deposit of our lives, the standards that we carry, possess a permanence that a succeeding life does not replace. Each life deposits the labor of a life sowed, and for that, the other lives on our little street will not be the same.