At our favorite once-a-week local eatery (not the one pictured above), we are known as “The Couple.” We huddle down into familiar chairs and pretend to have never seen the menu before. After much unnecessary deliberation, we order the same thing we ordered last week, and the week before. No matter. We will analyze the meal as if it were a brand new experience.
The servers all know us by name, as we also know them by name. It’s our version of the TV show, Cheers. While we may remain lost in our own world of conversation, we are also welcomed to swap stories with them, earning a way into their lives. Nobody is trying to impress anybody. There is little groundbreaking about it. It’s a comfortable weekly tradition. That’s why it is so welcoming. As we leave, I wish a good evening to our fellow diner who always protects the same seat in the same corner so that he can read his books.
It’s a sharp contrast to listening to the speaker whom I recently heard. His message was advertised as an event that would change our lives. As he warmed us up to his polished discourse, he reminded us of his extensive education. All along the way of his crafted speech, he gradually led us further into his grasp, as “we”–those of us who were savvy enough to catch his clever quips–were gradually separated from “them”–the unlucky non-hipster dolts who didn’t get, or didn’t appreciate, the inside jokes and insinuations. Given time, we were all expected to be a part of the “in” crowd, affirming his perspectives and humor with our approving laughter. In time, we would all endorse him.
Winston Churchill could pull this off. But lesser talents should beware. The risk is being written off as an insincere huckster, peddling a self-aggrandizing bill of goods.
At the end of his delivery, I tried hard to recall the good points that the speaker made, but I labored to embrace them. The process was neither enjoyable nor affirming.
At the end of this travail, I looked forward to Friday night, and to the friendly faces of those who expect me not to validate them for their talents and insights, but instead welcome me as their friend and equal.